so many times we let our imaginations get the best of us

Have you ever noticed how we so often let our imaginations get the best of us? Yeah even me; it’s like when you’ve been hurt so many times that the first time a person you love does something a little out of the ordinary you start to wonder if they really love you. Yeah life can be so dramatic internally. You go through your day wondering what’s going on. What did I do? What could I have done differently? How can I change this? But logically you know you can’t change it and there is nothing to change and it doesn’t matter cuz everything is fine you’re just freaking out internally for no reason. I’m in that place today. I didn’t get the call I expected last night, he wasn’t here with me, I can’t get hold of him but I know he is probably just sleeping for the first time since he came home and it kills me that I can’t hold him and cool him breakfast and kiss him and tell him every second how I feel inside. This is the most amazing experience I have ever had with a man and it’s not even sexual so that makes this that much harder. I’m feeling so concerned that he hasn’t said anything to me yet today but I know that that is only because he is probably asleep of his phone is dead it is after all a POS so yeah it makes sense. It’s just that I love him so much and hate every second that we’re not together. I pray every second that he will call me so I know he is ok because I know him well enough to know that he might have gotten himself onto trouble lol. O life is just that way and this is an internal test to make sure I’m not going to go all clingy crazy, psycho girlfriend lol. I know there is a chance of that so that’s why I’m writing this so I stop thinking about what might be happening and try to focus on the reality. He hasn’t slept in days I just hope he gets up in time to watch the game otherwise he’s going to be bummed. Well anyway that’s all the whining I have for now and it’s still driving me crazy and I’m worries sick I hope he’s ok. But mostly I hope I haven’t said something that upset him to the point that he doesn’t want to talk to me.