I sit and wait and watch the world pass me by and cannot find for the life of me one reason not to be utterly content. I am so blessed. There are so many things in the world that I lack and yet none of them are of any consequence. I know that I have the one thing in the world that I simply can’t live without. We were talking last night, my Aaron and I, and I was telling him about how I am so afraid that one day I’m going to wake up and realize that this has all just been a dream. Well he said the most amazing and sweetest thing ever it went down like this.
I said “I’m scared! I’m so afraid I’m going to wake up and find this has all just been a dream.”
He said “Then don’t wake up.”
I said “What if I can’t help it?”
He said “what does your gut say?”
I said “it says forever.”
He said “it must be right cuz mine does too.”
I know that it’s all a little corny but I know he’s right. And I know my gut’s right. It’s like I have known him since before time began and will know him until after it ends. I felt him in my soul the first time we kissed and never in my life have I ever been so sure of anything. It’s the most wonderful amazing feeling in the entire world. I am so magnificently in love that there simply are no words to describe it. For the people in this world who have been blessed enough to find such magic know how I feel for everyone else I hope that someday you can be so lucky. This is everything in the world that I have ever wanted or needed and I am certain that no matter what happens I will always have him. We truly have the most amazing connection I feel any two people have ever experienced. I am sure that there have been others who felt this way and I am sure that we will have hard times but if our good times from now on are only half as good as they are currently then I will forever be able to handle the bad times. I love him so much that I am certain no matter what happens I will never be lonely again. I cannot imagine the rest of my life without him and he makes me whole. He is the best part of who I am and makes me complete. I never thought I could feel this way about anyone. I had given up! Just the week before I met him I was done. I was certain that never in my life would I find what I was looking for. I had decided to live in misery and loneliness and only use men for what they could give me. And then I met him. We were only friends; there was no romantic intention whatsoever. It was like magic, I looked at him, past him, one day I saw into him I knew suddenly that he was “the one” and simultaneously we fell in love. I mean that literally, he can tell you the exact moment his heart rolled over and he was done in and I can too. I saw him there at the greyhound station in has khaki pants and camo jacket and I saw into him.
I peeked around the corner and our eyes locked and we were screwed. Neither of us was prepared, neither of us was looking or hoping that this would happen. We were friends and we knew we always would be but at that moment it became so much more. I will never regret that weekend. The weekend when everything went crazy in my life, everything was horrible, I was ready to give up on all of it but that was the weekend that I knew I had found forever with someone. I will never understand why God decided to answer my prayers at that moment but he did. There is a time and place for everything the funny thing is that I wonder what have happened if he had come the week before like he had planned. I wonder if it still would have been that way. I don’t know I will never know but I know this. I am so glad that it happened the way it did when it did. I have always loved him I am sure but that one second in time is truly when I knew. Aaron Michael Tapia is the only man in the world that I could ever love this much and I am so thankful for everything about him. He is not flawless but he is absolutely perfect. Thank you. That’s all I can say just thank you.
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